Stupid Meathead Surfer Assholes

[Nathan H]

So, I went surfing at the Davenport cove break today (just north of Santa Cruz). The conditions were fairly big and few people were out. This is well known locally as the kayakers break but is also shared with some surfers who go out to the south side of the cove. We stick to the north side and for the most part, the surfers are cool with us surfing there and few kayakers I know have ever had a problem there.

Right as we arrived, we hopped out to check out the waves....having been there no more than 30 seconds. After checking things out for about a minute, we headed back to the car to suit up. Some large guy with a shaved head asked my friend if my car (a black range rover) was his. My friend said no, and this nazi-looking guy promptly replied with a smirk..."well, when whoever's car that is comes in from the surf, he's gonna have flat tires." I overheard this from the crapper and went to check out my tires. Sure enough, the ****er had just slashed my right rear tire. As I was checking it out, he gave me a cold stare, got into his truck with his blond girlfriend, and drove off. WTF!!!!

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that my kayak on top of my rig was what triggered this ****er to do what he did. First of all, this guy wasn't even surfing there. He arrived and got out of his car the same time as we did, and left right after he did his deed. We weren't even competing for the same waves. Despite that, why do these assholes think that they own the ****ing water? I'm not some random inexperienced newb either, since I was obviously out on a big day. I'm sick of these ****ing tough guys with an IQ of 65 doing whatever the **** strikes them as a good idea.

Anyhow, here's his description in case y'all ever see him:

White male, 5'10, 220lbs, shaved head, looks like a tool.
Car: 1990ish blue range rover with thule racks on the top
Girlfriend: some blond bitch

If anyone sees this guy around Santa Cruz or San Fran, please key his car for me, or better yet, slash his tires. I guarantee he's a dick and it will be worth it. At the very least, write down his liscense plate number and send it to me.

My question to you is, why hasn't the planet removed these ****-tard mother****ers by natural selection already?

**** you, random-surfer-douchebag!

[fiddleyak]

That's been my experience, the surfers that talk shit are the pussies that don't even go out on the big days.
I hope you're enjoying paddling a real surfboat and showing that most people that get out surf are just cool people looking for that awesome ride.
It's too bad the surf scene is the way it is, but hearing and experiencing things like this that helps me appreciate the river and how great it is that we normally don't have to deal with bullshit like that.

[mikeinsd]

That kind of BS is rationalized and accepted by the surfing community. Sorry about your tire.

This is the kind of thing I hope I NEVER encounter among boaters. I spend a lot of time in the surf, but thankfully I don't normally encounter assholes. Makes me furious to hear about though.

Mike

[Paul]

That's f*#@!@, I don't know what the deal with Santa Cruz surfers are but it seems as though there's this almost poser "mess w/ the kayaker" mentality. Like Hawthorne said it's the guys who are usually too scared to go out that are the biggest pricks. Maybe messing with you made his balls feel bigger that day.

Consider yourself lucky though, last week I got my Subaru jacked and lost an AT2, tons of camping gear, and well the car itself. I'm going to guess it was a drug running tweaker but let's just assume he's a punk territorial surfer also.

Sorry about the tire, if you have insurance you may be able to get it covered under vandalism.

Paul

[Nathan H]

Sucks about your ride, Paul. We may not often be the subject of some assholes hatred, but it seems we as a group have our car's stolen pretty often.

Let's get a tally to see how many folks out there have had there rigs jacked by some tweaker while kayaking. Here's who I know of...

Ian: Car keyed
Carleton: Car pushed off a cliff into Don Pedro by tweakers
Mike: Beloved Yota Stolen near Chamberlain put-in
Cody Howards buddy, Mike Fisher: Windows and Radio jacked while parked on the reservation
Paul: Most recent story above
...............more???

[Jared]

In the mid 90's our shuttle rig was stolen from the take out of Golden Gate. Stellar day of paddling only to end in a mysterious way. About 6 weeks later, the beater truck was found in Bakersfield of all places! Tweaker landed himself in jail on that one.

JN

[weaselfish]

I've got a few to add to that count...

Had a car stolen from the 49 Bridge in Coloma proper two years ago while making a run down the gorge. Long story short, some tweeker bitch stole it. We saw it. Chased it at high speeds. After repeated attempts while in pursuit, finally got the police involved, who promptly lost it the moment they arrived on the scene. They wanted to know, "Who stole the car?" before they would get involved. What the **** is that?

And just last week, we were up on the MF Smith doing the Patrick's Creek run. My buddy was portaging the nastiness at the end so he trekked his boat up on the highway (a sketch maneuver, by the way) and came down to run safety for me. When he went back, quite literally 4 minutes later, his blue huck was gone. So, if you see one for sale in the Pacific Northwest, kick there ass and take their boat...

[wovoka]

We hafta remember, when asking why this kind of behaviour wasn't weeded out of the gene pool a long time ago, that basically, we have very little natural selection on homo not so sapiens anymore. The original kayakers (eskimos et al) would have gotten 4 of their pals together, and taken this guy out and bashed his skull out with a whalebone club, thus removing his genes from the gene pool. And you'd get a free second slave wife out of the deal....you could make her clean the latrine...yippee.

But that's apparently not acceptable behaviour here in the allegedly "civilized" world.
We'll all keep an eye out for him, and let you know if a 22 shell somehow finds it's way into the spark plug hole of the #1 cylinder of his blue range rover with thule rack while he's out surfing small waves.

[Nathan H]

Just don't confuse his lighter blue 1990 ish range rover with my dark blue 2003 rover with kayaking stickers all over the back (and factory racks).

I already have enough holes in important parts of my car.

[speicher]

and I gotta say it was so amazingly relaxing to be out in the surf as a boater with surfers that would actually have a cool conversation in the line-up and at the beach/bar. What a concept! I wasn't hated and felt like they didn't even hate each other. Weird! Anyway for the first time spending time hanging in the line-up was cool and relaxing and I actually felt a bond with folks (I didn't even know) who I surfed with until dark. Too bad CA doesn't have that vibe going...actually I've had some other non-violent interactions up North but to be in a prime location, with warm water and sweet waves and to not have some prick harshing my mellow and to actually have folks contributing to stoke was pretty freaking cool.